From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Uncategorized Mar 12, 2017


The opposite of a “nice girl” isn’t a word that begins with “B,” rather it is a “Winning Woman.”  This is according to Dr. Lois Frankel in her book, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.

The distinction is that a nice girl acts in a way that is designed to get other people to like her.  A winning woman acts with the intention to have her goals met by:

·        Knowing what she wants;

·        Being clear about where she’s going; and

·        Achieving these objectives both through her:

               Likability, and

               Emotional intelligence.

The illustration above shows the behaviour that Dr. Frankel says you must engage in in order to become a “Winning Woman.”  Read them and see...

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Ask for what you want

Uncategorized Mar 05, 2017

 If you didn’t get the raise or bonus you were expecting, rather than making up a story in your head that it must have something to do with how you’re valued, respected, or perceived and possibly losing sleep over it, do something about it.

But many of us don’t want to rock the boat when we’re in this situation.

However, do you owe it to yourself to get the facts rather than making up a story about yourself?

“The squeaky wheel gets the oil.“  Don’t wait for the information to be given to you, rather ask for it.  The same applies to asking for a raise or a promotion.

Using my own experience in law firms and referring to Dr. Lois Frankel in Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, here’s how to go about it:

  • Prepare in advance.  Be able to answer the questions:
  • What do I want?
  • Why do I want it?
  • Be direct and straightforward when asking.
  • Accompany each request with two or three objective and valid reasons why you...
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Staying in Your Comfort Zone

Uncategorized Feb 25, 2017

According to Dr. Lois Frankel, New York Times best-selling author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, most people want to emulate those folks who are enthusiastic, take risks, and have a “can do” attitude.  They find them more charismatic than people who stay in their comfort zones.

Women tend to stay in positions too long because they’re concerned about getting in over their heads.  Only if a woman is 100% confident that she’ll meet the requirements for the job will she consider putting herself forward for it. 

Men are more willing to put themselves forward for “stretch assignments.”  These are assignments that they’re not familiar with but want to prove that they can do them.

Sometimes women will refuse an assignment they’ve been singled out for because they feel they don’t have the right qualifications for the job.  This is a big mistake.  It’s a way to eliminate yourself from...

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Define your power for your life

Uncategorized Feb 19, 2017

Even if we are successful or well educated, we can find it difficult to see or acknowledge our own power.

Continuing my series from Dr. Lois Frankel’s, “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office,” Dr. Frankel writes that some of us deny our power because of the messages we absorbed when we were younger.  Power was associated with men and who was in control.

Dr. Frankel goes on to say that there are different kinds of power.  One of those is the power to control our own life.

Denying our own power eats away at our confidence and feeds into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

These are some ways to start seeing and creating your power.

  • Taking baby steps by expressing your needs at home and at work will enable you to see the connection between your power and taking responsibility for your life’s direction.
  • Consider the ways in which you have more control in your life than you use.   For example, you have the right to say no at times. Click here ...
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Reclaim Your Personal Life on Valentine’s Day – and Every Day

Uncategorized Feb 14, 2017


Lois Frankel’s New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Business Week bestseller, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, writes that we shouldn’t make work our life.

She goes on to say that we owe our employer an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay.  We owe our employer a reasonable amount of overtime, with or without pay, and always without complaint.  But we don’t owe our employer our soul.

If you find you’re giving up what’s important to you for the sake of your job, Lois says that in her experience, it’s either because we have nothing to go home to or we don’t want to deal with what we have to go home to.  Like other “isms,” workaholism can be a way to avoid other things.

Having things to do and people you want to be with outside of work will help you stay focussed and productive. 

It’s not true that we have to give up our life in order to have a successful life.


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Learn how to say “no” and overcome your tendency to please people

Uncategorized Feb 05, 2017


I decided to just go ahead and put together a short video from part of a Masterclass with a psychotherapist that I’m creating. 

This video walks you through a powerful strategy and gives you the two essential steps to being able to say no, so that you will have the ability to say no when you want to and take back more control in your life.

You will discover why you have a tendency to please people (this might surprise you) and understand yourself better, because so many of you have told me, you struggle with saying “no.”

Warmest wishes


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How to Avoid Over Promising and Under Delivering

Uncategorized Jan 25, 2017

I’m absolutely pumped about today’s video.  

It’s about the big dilemma of overpromising and under delivering that affects so many of us for different reasons. 

We overpromise because we’re worried about what other people think.

Sometimes we have doubts about being replaceable and being surpassed and this causes us to overpromise.

Many of us are nervous on the job because we haven’t been trained properly but we think we should be able to do more and, as a result, we can overpromise. 

On the video, I will be talking about:

  1. One simple thing you can do to take tremendous pressure off yourself when you feel you have to say “yes” to some more work but yet know that you won’t be able to deliver.
  2. The #1 mistake most people make when they are asked to take on more work than they can deliver on (and how this affects your career).
  3.  Four questions you must ask to ensure you get the help you need when you are...
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Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

Uncategorized Jan 22, 2017


Once a month on a Sunday morning I get together with a group of people to practice yoga and meditation.  Our group meets in a building that’s used during the week to provide social care, community, and youth work services.  This is in Dublin, Ireland.

The reception area has an exchange of books and this morning I found some beautiful philosophy and spiritual books.  One of the books includes one of my very favorite poems by William Butler Yeats, who was Irish.

The poem’s final words are “Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.” 

These words were an apt reminder for me to not tread on my own dream.  Not to rush my dream and not to keep wishing I could move faster in my dream.

These beautiful words will resonate differently with all of us depending on where we are in our lives. 

Sometimes we can inadvertently wish our dream on others who are close to us.  We can also wish other dreams for them because we think...

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What do you need to make your next career move?

Uncategorized Jan 22, 2017



Looking for a new job after January 1 is one of the most popular New Year’s resolutions. 

According to a survey by, right now, employees are making efforts to upgrade to richer pastures.  The survey showed that 43% of their respondents are not happy in their current jobs.

Anyway, what this all means is that if you’re one of those who wants to move to a new job, it’s time to start planning!  (By the way, I am working on an awesome confidence building class for your career right now!) 

Ok, so now I have a serious question, please consider this with me.

What help do you need with your confidence in order to make your next career move, whether that’s staying in the same job, the same organization, or moving organizations?  What’s really holding you back in terms of your confidence and self-belief at work?

Promotions can’t always be taken for granted.  At one time, workers followed a specific...

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How to Show People that You Value Them . . .

Uncategorized Jan 14, 2017


Some people are more important to us than others but how can we ensure that they don't feel neglected?

Continuing on in my series from Dr. Mark Goulston’s teachings in, Get Out of Your Own Way, I’m going to show you a way to let people know how much you value them.

It's called the the Three C's and it will enable you to make sure that each person who is important to you does not feel neglected.

The Three C’s - to show people that you value them:

  • Concern.  Allow the person to express their concerns, frustrations, fears and worries without jumping in or speeding them up.
  • Curiosity.  Be interested in them before they ask for your interest and be specific.  For instance, rather than asking them, “how was your day,” ask them, “how did your project turn out?”  This demonstrates that you know about and care about the details of their life. 
  • Confidence.  Show that you trust their ability to handle...
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