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From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Mar 12, 2017


The opposite of a “nice girl” isn’t a word that begins with “B,” rather it is a “Winning Woman.”  This is according to Dr. Lois Frankel in her book, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.

The distinction is that a nice girl acts in a way that is designed to get other people to like her.  A winning woman acts with the intention to have her goals met by:

·        Knowing what she wants;

·        Being clear about where she’s going; and

·        Achieving these objectives both through her:

               Likability, and

               Emotional intelligence.

The illustration above shows the behaviour that Dr. Frankel says you must engage in in order to become a “Winning Woman.”  Read them and see how you could start to implement them in different situations in your life. 

Take small steps.  Always remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.

If you meet resistance to becoming a “Winning Woman,” Dr. Frankel says you’re going in the right direction.  It shows that you’re asserting yourself more and putting forward your needs.  Don’t be surprised if you meet resistance, depending on the situation, it can be inevitable as you’re changing how you behave.  Don’t let it discourage you.  Rather, view it as an indication that you’re following the path that’s important to you.

Begin to practice how to deal with resistance in low-risk scenarios.  These would be situations where the outcome won’t make much difference to your life but where you begin to state what it is you want and why you want it.  For example, by asking for a replacement dish in a restaurant if the one you got wasn’t properly prepared.

Where you are meeting resistance, begin to ask questions about the reason for it.  Knowing why someone is resisting will allow you to understand the other person’s position and then, importantly, begin to negotiate for your situation.  This will enable both you and the other person to reach an agreement where both of you win as you come to understand each other’s needs and wants.

Keep going back and looking at Dr. Frankel’s “Winning Woman Wheel.”

Remember it is your life.  Make your difference!

Warm wishes


Fear of failure is something that many of us experience. To learn how to let it go, get my Cheat Sheet here.

Each person's experience in life and at work is different, I'd love to hear about yours. Please leave me a comment below!

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